These bathroom quotes will inspire you. A bathroom or washroom is a room, typically in a home or other residential building, that contains either a bathtub or a shower (or both).
Below you will find a collection of motivating, knowledgeable, and encouraging bathroom quotes, bathroom sayings, and bathroom proverbs.
Best Bathroom Quotes
- “In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.” ~ Robert Benchley
- “I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.” ~ Ned Vizzini
- “If I want to be alone, some place I can write, I can read, I can pray, I can cry, I can do whatever I want – I go to the bathroom.” ~ Alicia Keys
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“I went to the bathroom and threw some water on my face, combed my hair. If I could only comb that face, I thought, but I can’t.” ~ Charles Bukowski
- “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” ~ Catherine Zeta-Jones
- “I’m not at the point where I’d feel safe in a house alone. I would be really scared. I’m the kind of person that when I get up to go use the bathroom I have this big long hallway, and I just know someone’s going to jump out and get me.” ~ Britney Spears
- “Life is like a movie-since there aren’t any commercial breaks,
you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.” ~ Garry Trudeau -
“I started singing in the bathroom, … Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.” ~ Rod Stewart
- “The paperless society is about as
plausible as the paperless bathroom.” ~ Jesse Shera - “I’ve been in a serious conversation with one of my children, and a fan has come up. I’ve been in a public bathroom and had the hand come under the stall with a paper and pen. That sort of thing anybody can live without.” ~ Helen Reddy
- “I am going to be working on bathroom fittings for a company in the USA, and then I thought it was appropriate to simplify the fittings and, thus, lowering the cost.” ~ Arne Jacobsen
- “You can talk about movies all you want, but I have this porcelain fetish. I’ve had it since I was a kid, because there were so many kids in my family, the only place I had any solace was in the bathroom.” ~ Linda Fiorentino
- “I can’t live without my beauty products. I love to be in my bathroom with my candles lit, morning, noon and night. I like taking hot baths and hot showers, using my body scrubs and lotions.” ~ Traci Bingham
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“Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.” ~ Margaret Mead
- “The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet.” ~ Macy Gray , Bathroom quotes wall
- “My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother.” ~ Ronnie Spector
- “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.” ~ Erma Bombeck
- “My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.” ~ Erma Bombeck
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“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.” ~ George Carlin
- “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” ~ Arthur C. Clarke
- “Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that’s happened to us?” ~ Tom Coburn
- “A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.” ~ Bill Cosby
- “As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and no explanation if he can help it.” ~ Ronald Blythe
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“If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
- “Sometimes the beauty is easy. Sometimes you don’t have to try at all. Sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake. Sometimes there’s poetry written right on the bathroom wall.” ~ Ani DiFranco
- “I’m very happy with the way I look. I wake up some morning, catch myself in the bathroom mirror, and go, ‘hey girl, you’re alright’. But on the other hand, I find the website stuff, and the polls, something completely removed from my own personal life. You can’t take anything like that too seriously, otherwise you’d end up in the loony bin.” ~ Cameron Diaz
- “I think more and more people want to live alone. You can be a couple without being in each other’s pockets. I don’t see why you have to share the same bathroom.” ~ Jeanne Moreau
- “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.” ~ Spike Milligan
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“Justice, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.” ~ Zora Neale Hurston
- “The beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” ~ William Carlos Williams
- “It’s very important for the parents of young autistic children to encourage them to talk, or for those that don’t talk, to give them a way of communicating, like a picture board, where they can point to a glass of milk, or a jacket if they’re cold, or the bathroom. If they want something, then they need to learn to request that thing.” ~ Temple Grandin
- “Like when I’m in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I’m like ‘Wow! That’s toilet paper?’ I don’t know if we appreciate how much we have.” ~ Alicia Silverstone
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“Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.” ~ George V
- “Of all the subjects on this planet, I think my parents would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.” ~ J. K. Rowling
- “Americans are always mortified when I tell them this, but in England, it’s a tradition to put your plaques and photographs and awards and gold records and stuff in your bathroom. I don’t know why.” ~ Adele
- “My roommate says, “I’m going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?” It’s like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.” ~ Mitch Hedberg
- “People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.” ~ P. J. O’Rourke
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“Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.” ~ Billy Carter
- “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.” ~ Bob Hope
- “Hollywood is like Picasso’s bathroom.” ~ Candice Bergen
- “Early on in my career, I’d go into the makeup trailer, and they’d spend an hour doing my makeup, and I would hate it. I’d go into the bathroom, wash it off and start over again, which took an enormous amount of time. So I just started doing it myself.” ~ Donna Mills
- “I wish I had a nickel for every song that I’ve left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about” ~ Tommy Shaw
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“Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic.” ~ Dave Eggers
- “Sometimes that is why you might even stay in the bathroom for even half an hour, making that water running all over, just singing.” ~ Dennis Brown
- “[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.” ~ Billy Wilder
- “I’m no interior decorator, but just I have a feeling that plastic plants in the bathroom… probably not a good idea.” ~ Kyan Douglas , Bathroom quotes decor
- “I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.” ~ Harlan Ellison
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“I’d rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous.” ~ Ani DiFranco
- “I’m definitely a messy person… I know where everything is but I just can’t organize. I don’t make lists and find scripts on the laundry machine, and under my bed, or in the bathroom, kitchen. It’s bad, I really need to take control.” ~ Katie Holmes
- “There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom.” ~ Kiefer Sutherland
- “One day I actually took the list into the bathroom and I put it up against my face and looked in the mirror and I realized I had one of two choices, change the list or change myself.” ~ Star Jones
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“We had a one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet apartment with four girls.” ~ Connie Sellecca
- “I still get nervous on dates. I’ll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can’t breathe.” ~ Shannen Doherty
- “There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.” ~ Sylvia Plath
- “Castro couldn’t even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.” ~ Richard M. Nixon
- “I couldn’t even go to the bathroom alone. My mother or a social worker always went with me.” ~ Natalie Wood
- “Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.” ~ Rita Rudner
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“There’s a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women.” ~ Leah Remini
- “All I’m thinking about today is cleaning my bathroom.” ~ Linda Fiorentino
- “If I were straight and I were trying to seduce a woman, I could do it just by standing up at the table when she came back from the bathroom. It works. Every time I do that, all the straight men are sitting at the table and their wives are kicking them. “Look at that!” “You never do that for me!”” ~ Tom Ford
- “When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. I was also a fan of the ‘shoe closet.’ Reading felt thrilling and illicit and deeply private to me, and I felt vulnerable doing it in public.” ~ Karen Russell
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“Love is something that hangs up behind the bathroom door and smells of Lysol.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
- “I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.” ~ Daniel Handler
- “Make sure your bathroom is clean. If you’re having a girl over the house for the first time, make sure your toilet is clean, not disgusting. Guys’ bathrooms are always the most disgusting thing.” ~ Carly Aquilino
- “I picked up the phone to call the police, but then I considered how it would sound when I told them that I was calling from inside my bathroom, where I’d OD’ed on laxatives, and that a possible rapist was quietly passing me notes under the bathroom door.” ~ Jenny Lawson
