These drunk quotes will inspire you. Drunk, having the faculties impaired by alcohol.
Below you will find a collection of motivating, happy, and encouraging drunk quotes, drunk sayings, and drunk proverbs.
Best Drunk Quotes
- “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
- “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” ~ George Burns
- “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” ~ Humphrey Bogart
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“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” ~ Ray Bradbury
- “A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.” ~ Henny Youngman
- “Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts” ~ Wiz Khalifa
- “When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.” ~ Johnny Depp
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“Write drunk; edit sober.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
- “A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk.” ~ Samuel Johnson
- “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” ~ Drew Carey
- “It is time to get drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk without stopping! On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.” ~ Charles Baudelaire
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“God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.” ~ Ed McMahon
- “You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” ~ Frank Zappa
- “Not drunk is he who from the floor – Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is They, who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise.” ~ Thomas Love Peacock
- “So, after a while, you can only get so much happiness from a guy who’s drunk come up and tell you you’re great.” ~ Rick Derringer
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“Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” ~ Steve Martin
- “I don’t drink, and I don’t smoke. It’s a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.” ~ Ashley Tisdale
- “I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.” ~ Winston Churchill
- “I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.” ~ Raymond Chandler
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“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” ~ William Butler Yeats
- “Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered. He consists only of one quality: witnessing. This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality. Witness that you are not the body. Witness that you are not the mind. Witness that you are only a witness. As the witnessing deepens, you start becoming drunk with the divine. That is what is called ecstasy.” ~ Rajneesh
- “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” ~ Oscar Wilde
- “All the mistakes I’ve ever made in my life have been when I’ve been drunk. I haven’t made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever.” ~ Tracey Emin
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“It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.” ~ Shirley MacLaine
- “Sometimes when you’re drunk you can see better.” ~ Damien Hirst
- “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
- “Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other.” ~ William Tecumseh Sherman
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“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” ~ W. C. Fields
- “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” ~ Jack Lemmon
- “Nobody can write the life of a man but those who have eat and drunk and lived in social intercourse with him.” ~ Samuel Johnson
- “I was a savage for so many years of my life. There was some seed of determination in me that I was not conscious of. I was mostly consciously getting into trouble and drunk.” ~ Daniel Day-Lewis
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“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” ~ Ambrose Bierce
- “Sometimes I write drunk and revise sober, and sometimes I write sober and revise drunk. But you have to have both elements in creation — the Apollonian and the Dionysian, or spontaneity and restraint, emotion and discipline.” ~ Peter De Vries
- “I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.” ~ George Gobel
- “If you can really laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you’re drunk.” ~ Conan O’Brien
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“There is nothing left to do but get drunk.” ~ Franklin Pierce
- “What, when drunk, one sees in other women, one sees in Garbo sober.” ~ Kenneth Tynan
- “I hate crowds of people pretending to be happy on one night of the year, where they get drunk and obnoxious by the end of the night.” ~ Kenny Hickey
- “I attended a very small junior high and especially in the end that became a disaster. The principal was pretty senile and a drunk, so the children more or less runned the school.” ~ Jonathan Brandis
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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” ~ Winston Churchill
- “Creationists make it sound as though a ‘theory’ is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.” ~ Isaac Asimov
- “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” ~ Dean Martin
- “The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” ~ P. J. O’Rourke
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“Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it.” ~ Hannah More
- “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” ~ W. Clement Stone
- “There’s no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws for repeat offenders. We need to take a lesson from European countries where driving isn’t a right but a privilege.” ~ Jesse Ventura
- “You don’t quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you’re on the floor” ~ Gina Gershon
- “I’m involved with Recording Artists and Actors Against Drunk Driving. I’m also involved with most children’s causes, because children can’t help the environment they’re in.” ~ Judd Nelson
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“The intense perfumes of the wild herbs as we trod them underfoot made us feel almost drunk.” ~ Jacqueline du Pre
- “Sometimes I get a little drunk, sometimes I get a little out of it, sometimes I get out of tune onstage, but that’s something that shouldn’t be dissected” ~ Stephen Stills
- “And we used to do a lot of drugs and get very drunk on very cheap wine.” ~ Santiago Durango
- “It pays to get drunk with the best people.” ~ Joe E. Lewis
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“I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk.” ~ Sally Kellerman
- “Does my character hate Bree? Well, let’s just put it this way. Bree hasn’t seen the last of me. I gave that drunk gal a ride home a few episodes ago and she turned on me!” ~ Alfre Woodard
- “To appear on the stage drunk, to have them leave there and remember me making drunken mistakes, that was death.” ~ Sammy Davis, Jr.
- “Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.” ~ Shmuel Yosef Agnon
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“Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone’s drunk all the time.” ~ Clea DuVall
- “Unfortunately, a lot of people are stupid. They take drugs. They get drunk and do all the wrong things in life. I just played it straight.” ~ Bobby Vinton
- “I got drunk when I was five. Everybody gets drunk before they’re 21.” ~ Fiona Apple
- “Me, I’d prefer to have a good reputation rather than getting press for being scandalous, getting drunk in public, staying out late and so on.” ~ Sophia Bush
- “When the doors of opportunity swing open, we must make sure that we are not too drunk or too indifferent to walk through.” ~ Jesse Jackson
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“If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed up.” ~ Mitch Hedberg
- “When we started I wasn’t the singer. I was the drunk rhythm guitarist who wrote all these weird songs.” ~ Robert Smith
- “Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, it’s just god when he’s drunk.” ~ Tom Waits
- “My uncle was the town drunk – and we lived in Chicago.” ~ George Gobel
