These Funny Family quotes will inspire you.
Below you will find a collection of motivating, knowledgeable, and encouraging funny family quotes, funny family sayings, and funny family proverbs.
Inspirational Funny Family Quotes
- “In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” ~ Alex Haley
- “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” ~ Oscar Wilde
- “If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.'” ~ Jeff Foxworthy
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“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” ~ Wayne Huizenga
- “Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” ~ Anthony Brandt
- “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order; we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” ~ Confucius
- “Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.” ~ Martin Mull
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“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~ George Burns
- “Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future.” ~ Gail Buckley
- “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” ~ Cary Grant
- “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.” ~ Lee Iacocca
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“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.” ~ Bob Hope
- “The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” ~ George Santayana
- “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby
- “Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” ~ Bill Cosby , Funny family quotes parents
- “Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters, and of family disagreements.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II
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“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” ~ Bill Vaughan
- “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.” ~ Si Robertson
- “If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct.” ~ Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” ~ Desmond Tutu
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“To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.” ~ Barbara Bush
- “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
- “Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.” ~ Erma Bombeck
- “I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.” ~ Ugo Betti
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“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” ~ Buddy Hackett
- “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ Theodore Hesburgh
- “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” ~ Robert Breault
- “When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
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“There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age.” ~ Benjamin Spock
- “Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
- “Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them round to dinner.” ~ Douglas Adams
- “The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” ~ Dodie Smith , Sarcastic funny family quotes
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“The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.” ~ Bertrand Russell
- “All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
- “To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold
- “Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.” ~ Oren Arnold
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“There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps.” ~ Herbert V. Prochnow
- “I been with strangers all day and they treated me like family. I come in here to family and you treat me like a stranger.” ~ August Wilson
- “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
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“Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.” ~ Francis Bacon
- “Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” ~ Evan Esar
- “I have a 10-year-old boy and a 6-year-old boy and the stuff that they watch, it’s always… I mean, it could be because we’re a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there’s a winner right there.” ~ Rhys Darby
- “My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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“If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
- “I am an only child. I have one sister.” ~ Woody Allen
- “I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.” ~ Victor Borge
- “We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.” ~ Meg Cabot
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“Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.” ~ Bill Cosby
- “All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.” ~ W. C. Fields
- “My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with…That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.” ~ Bill Cosby , I love my family funny family quotes
- “Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.” ~ Bill Cosby
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“I had a very funny family.” ~ Zach Braff
- “Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.” ~ Gracie Allen
- “I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.” ~ Wanda Sykes
- “Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to see your siblings as the people they’ve become. Maybe that’s why we all stay away from each other as a matter of course.” ~ Jonathan Tropper
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“Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families.” ~ Charles Dickens
- “In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families – that they are least two-thirds incontinent.” ~ Robert Breault
- “The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.” ~ William Shakespeare
- “I can get up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and my family can look at me too and that’s all that matters.” ~ Lance Armstrong
- “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.” ~ Fred Allen
