These funny work quotes will inspire you. Work should be a healthy, lively place where you can enjoy the work you do. No Monday Blues!!
Below you will find a collection of motivating, happy, and encouraging funny work quotes, funny work sayings, and funny work proverbs.
Best Funny Work Quotes
- “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.'” ~ Dave Barry
- “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” ~ Jerome K. Jerome
- “If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ~ Steven Wright
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“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” ~ Charles Lamb
- “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” ~ Don Herold
- “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” ~ Ed Bernard
- “It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” ~ Will Rogers
- “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.” ~ Rita Rudner
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” ~ Joe Girard
- “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” ~ Robert Frost , Funny work quotes office
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“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” ~ Bertrand Russell
- “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” ~ Don Marquis
- “When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.” ~ Rich Hall
- “No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.” ~ Groucho Marx
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“Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week.” ~ Lori Greiner
- “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” ~ Sam Ewing
- “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” ~ Vince Lombardi
- “If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.” ~ Lane Kirkland
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“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” ~ Joseph Addison
- “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ~ Thomas A. Edison
- “I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.” ~ Vince McMahon
- “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” ~ Ogden Nash
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“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” ~ Michel Tournier
- “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” ~ Robert Frost
- “Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.” ~ Al Capp
- “I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.” ~ Stephen Colbert
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“The best way to enjoy your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~ Oscar Wilde
- “Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” ~ Matt Groening
- “If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.” ~ Scott Adams , Funny work quotes ideas
- “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” ~ Peter Drucker
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“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” ~ Edgar Bergen
- “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” ~ Claude Maxwell MacDonald
- “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” ~ Milan Kundera
- “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” ~ William Faulkner
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“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” ~ Les Dawson
- “A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.” ~ Jay London
- “In the early days, all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there’s no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.” ~ Les Claypool
- “It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.” ~ J. R. R. Tolkien
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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” ~ Steven Wright
- “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.” ~ Robert Benchley
- “After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
- “The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.” ~ Wernher von Braun
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“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
- “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” ~ Kin Hubbard
- “It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work.” ~ E. F. Schumacher
- “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” ~ Ronald Reagan
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“There’s not a single job in this town. There’s nothin’, nada, zip. Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.” ~ Jeff Daniels
- “Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I’m being held.” ~ Randy Glasbergen
- “He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.” ~ Don Marquis
- “People don’t think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationery store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
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“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.” ~ Aristotle
- “I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.” ~ Lily Tomlin
- “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” ~ Woody Allen
- “If at first, you don’t succeed, then drag racing isn’t for you.” ~ Christopher Titus
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“Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser-known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.” ~ Daniel Handler
- “I’ve been promoted to middle management. I never thought I’d sink so low.” ~ Tim Gould
- “When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.” ~ Helen Rowland
- “Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.” ~ Laurence J. Peter
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“Most people like hard work, particularly when they’re paying for it.” ~ Elbert Hubbard
- “A good rule of thumb is if you’ve made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you’ve probably made a serious vocational error.” ~ Dennis Miller
- “There’s a fine line between marketing and grand theft.” ~ Scott Adams
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“The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.” ~ Oscar Wilde
- “You should never protest outside a rich guy’s home during the day because he’s not there. He’s at work grinding the faces of the poor.” ~ Craig Ferguson
- “No one’s dream job involves a kiosk.” ~ Damien Fahey
