These plumber quotes will inspire you. Plumber, a dealer or worker in lead, or a person who installs and repairs the pipes and fittings of water supply, sanitation, or heating systems.
A collection of motivating, happy, and encouraging plumber quotes, plumber sayings, and plumber proverbs.
Best Plumber Quotes
- “There are two kinds of truth; the truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science, and the second is art. Without art, science would be as useless as a pair of high forceps in the hands of a plumber. Without science, art would become a crude mess of folklore and emotional quackery.” ~ Raymond Chandler
- “An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” ~ John Gardner
- “Writers who think THEY are being criticized when only that writing is being criticized are beyond a teacher’s reach. Writing can only be learned when a writer coldly separates himself from what he has written and looks at it with the objectivity of a plumber examining a newly piped bathroom to see if he got all the joints tight.” ~ William Zinsser
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“I wanted to be a plumber.” ~ Robert Goulet
- “We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.” ~ Andy Rooney
- “If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.” ~ Albert Einstein
- “In Cleveland, there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber’ union.” ~ Conan O’Brien
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“If I waited for inspiration every time I sat down to write a song I probably would be a plumber today.” ~ Barry Mann
- “Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.” ~ George Meany
- “Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it’s true that this morning I’ve dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named ‘Joe the Plumber.'” ~ John McCain
- “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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“Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he’d be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.” ~ Bela Lugosi
- “My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous.” ~ Shaun White
- “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” ~ John W. Gardner
- “I recommend my students not to be professional unless they really have to be. I tell them, ‘If you love music, sell Hoovers or be a plumber. Do something useful with your life.'” ~ Robert Fripp
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“It’s still about the women. It’s not called Desperate Plumber. People are more interested in cat fights.” ~ James Denton
- “God makes something special and unique about each person that sets them apart from every other person, and to me that’s is what artistry is about, whether you are a plumber, a pinter, a musician whatever it is that is unique about you that is translated into your art.” ~ Bubba Sparxxx
- “It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And enormously higher than that of professors.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
- “While the authority of the doctor or plumber is never questioned, everyone deems himself a good judge and an adequate arbiter of what a work of art should be and how it should be done.” ~ Mark Rothko
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“I never planned on being a plumber.” ~ Scott Caan
- “Art is too popular. If plumbing was as popular as art is we would have amateur plumbers running around brandishing wrenches and Roto-Rooters, climbing in and out of sewers and writing gibberish about pipe systems. And none of our our toilets would work.” ~ Walter Darby Bannard
- “When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don’t think of a plumber.” ~ Nick Offerman
- “I come from a blue collar family, but my personal life isn’t. I didn’t get the gene that my grandfather had in spades. He was a local hero. Built the church that I went to. Built the house I grew up in. Steamfitter, pipefitter, electrician, mechanic and plumber. I wanted to do those things. But it just didn’t come easy.” ~ Mike Rowe
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“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” ~ Woody Allen
- “Ninety percent of my best friends back home are plumbers, electricians, builders, or landscapers. Most of our dads worked in trades.” ~ Liam Hemsworth
- “There’s always something to do if you don’t have to work or consider the cost. It’s no real fun but the rich don’t know that. They never had any. They never want anything very hard except maybe somebody else’s wife and that’s a pretty pale desire compared with the way a plumber’s wife wants new curtains for the living room.” ~ Raymond Chandler
- “The success of a meeting often depends on having the right documents – proofs, artwork, schedules, research charts, etc. – present at the start of the meeting. All too often we arrive like plumbers, leaving our tools behind.” ~ David Ogilvy
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“Writer’s block? I’ve never heard of a plumber complain about plumber’s block.” ~ Robert B. Parker
- “The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they’re called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – ” “Plumbers?” ” – exactly, yes, but of course they’re flummoxed.” ~ J. K. Rowling
- “A real man don’t call the plumbers. If he gonna call himself a man, he needs to know how to fix it, on the spot” ~ Phil Robertson
- “It’s in our nature. If you are a plumber, there is an objective way to establish whether you put together a great piping system or not. Art is a bit more slippery than that. So, when you fill a gallery with dirt and someone comes along waving wads of bills, it’s difficult not to take them because they become a tangible acknowledgement that what you’ve been doing actually makes sense.” ~ Maurizio Cattelan
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“If I could do it all again, I’d be a plumber.” ~ Albert Einstein
- “We have to be plumbers, electricians, construction engineers, or workers, on the space station, but at the same time running a laboratory, being scientists, being the best laboratory assistants we can be. It’s all in a bundle; it’s very exciting, it’s a lot of fun.” ~ Thomas Marshburn
- “I’m no part time dilettante photographer, unlike the bartenders, shoe salesmen, floorwalkers plumbers, barbers, grocery clerks and chiropractors whose great hobby is their camera. All their friends rave about what wonderful pictures they take. If they’re so good, why don’t they take pictures full—time, for a living, and make floor walking, chiropractics, etc., their hobby? But everyone wants to play it safe. They’re afraid to give up their pay checks and their security they might miss a meal.” ~ Weegee
- “Flying has changed how we imagine our planet, which we have seen whole from space, so that even the farthest nations are ecological neighbors. It has changed our ideas about time. When you can gird the earth at 1,000 m.p.h., how can you endure the tardiness of a plumber? Most of all, flying has changed our sense of our body, the personal space in which we live, now elastic and swift. I could be in Bombay for afternoon tea if I wished. My body isn’t limited by its own weaknesses; it can rush through space.” ~ Diane Ackerman
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“I’m not sure cavemen had plumbers. They probably just used a hole.” ~ Joelle Carter
- “This is what rituals are for. We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don’t have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping. And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn’t have the specific ritual you are craving, then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness of a generous plumber/poet.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
- “When you have a sense of calling, whether it’s to be a musician, soloist, artist, in one of the technical fields, or a plumber, there is something deep and enriching when you realize it isn’t just a casual choice, it’s a divine calling. It’s not limited to vocational Christian service by any means.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll
- “The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.” ~ Artie Lange
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“An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher.” ~ John W. Gardner
- “It is always a disappointment to turn from forthright consideration of some subject – whether from the Left or the Right, a poet or a plumber – to the Beltway version, in which the only aspects of the issue that matter are the effects it will have on the fortunes of the two parties and the various men in power.” ~ Thomas Frank
- “I do not want and will not take a royalty on any record I record. I think paying a royalty to a producer or engineer is ethically indefensible. The band write the songs. The band play the music. It’s the band’s fans who buy the records. The band is responsible for whether it’s a great record or a horrible record. Royalties belong to the band. I would like to be paid like a plumber. I do the job and you pay me what it’s worth.” ~ Steve Albini
- “99.9% of plumbers make less than a quarter million dollars a year, and I’m going to give Joe a break whether he wants it or not.” ~ Barack Obama
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“The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.” ~ Frank Zappa
- “I really see the vocation of politics like I see every vocation – whether its being a reporter or serving in public life or being a plumber – as an extension of ministry.” ~ Kevin Cramer
- “I believe that women and girls today have to partner in a powerful way with men – with their fathers, with their sons, with their brothers, with the plumbers, the road builders, the caregivers, the doctors, the lawyers, with our president and with all beings.” ~ Joan Halifax
- “Sculptors, poets, painters, musicians-they’re the traditional purveyors of Beauty. But it can as easily be created by a gardener, a farmer, a plumber, a careworker.” ~ Charles de Lint
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“A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.” ~ Arthur Baer
- “Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” ~ Woody Allen
- “I did not come from an academic background. My father was a smart man, but he had a fifth-grade education. He and all his friends were plumbers. They were all born around 1905 in great poverty in New York City and had to go to work when they were 12 or 13 years old.” ~ Leonard Susskind
- “I was from a poor Jewish family in the South Bronx. My father was a plumber, but when I was 16, he got sick and I had to take over. Being a plumber in the South Bronx wasn’t fun.” ~ Leonard Susskind
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“If I had it [life] to do all over again, I’d have been a plumber.” ~ Albert Einstein
- “My dad is really old school: “Whatever you do, just be the best at it.” He didn’t really care if I was a plumber or a roofer. It didn’t matter what I did. He said, “Go out and find out what you like to do, and be the best at it.”” ~ Scott Eastwood
- “You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don’t realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.” ~ Andy Kindler
- “If you’re just going to meet consumer or clients’ demands, you might as well be a plumber – the work will be more frequently available.” ~ Jay Maisel
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“Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber?” ~ Marlon Brando
- “I’ve always noticed that Old Families, like plumbers and barbers and possibly drummers and detectives, seem to have some kind of reciprocity arrangement in the South. Members of the freemasonry could move anywhere … and still operate cozily in the local Old Family top drawer.” ~ Celestine Sibley
- “I like doing everything – theater and film, radio and TV, comedy and tragedy. I love it all. And I’ve never really planned anything – I’ve always looked at my job in a rather simplistic way. It’s like being a plumber. One day you might be fixing an early 20th-century showerhead that requires real detailed work. The other day you might just be clearing a sewer. Both jobs are very different, but all the tools come out of the same box. That’s the way I look at acting.” ~ Alfred Molina.
- “Probably writers should forget what it was like to write the last novel, and the one before that, and the one before that, or we should all be plumbers. It must be good to be a plumber. Everyone is happy to see you, and no one reviews your work.” ~ Susan Fromberg Schaeffer
- “If you are a plumber, you can work on a shed, or you can work on a mansion. It’s just scale.” ~ Martin Freeman
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“One does not allow the plumbers to decide the temperature, depth and timing of a bath.” ~ Jack Gould
- “As such, anything is always possible, even if your protagonist is a plumber. But it’s the possibility, the limitless possibilities, of any fake life, that make writing about it so challenging.” ~ Heidi Julavits
- “What you want in an interview is four things: You want someone who can explain what they do very well, who can have a sense of humor and hopefully is self-deprecating, who has a bit of a chip on their shoulder, and passion. If you have passion, a chip on the shoulder, a sense of humor, and you can explain what you do very well, it doesn’t matter if you’re a plumber or a singer or a politician. If you have those four things, you are interesting.” ~ Larry King
- “[To her frequently needed plumber:] How would you like to be adopted? I’m sure it would be cheaper.” ~ Mary Roberts Rinehart
- “It’s important for all people, and not just people in bands, to speak out on social justice issues. That means journalists or plumbers have just as much of a responsibility to do that as artists.” ~ Serj Tankian
