These sausage quotes will inspire you. Sausage, an item of food in the form of a cylindrical length of minced pork or other meat encased in a skin, is typically sold raw to be grilled or fried before eating.
A collection of motivating, happy, and encouraging sausage quotes, sausage sayings, and sausage proverbs.
Best Sausage Quotes
- “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.” ~ Otto von Bismarck
- “Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.” ~ Dean Koontz
- “This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories… if you lick it.” ~ Jack Whitehall , Sausage quotes roll
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“Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.” ~ Terry Pratchett
- “There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.” ~ Mark Twain
- “Writing is like sausage making in my view; you’ll all be happier in the end if you just eat the final product without knowing what’s gone into it.” ~ George R. R. Martin
- “I do adore food. If I have any vice it’s eating. If I was told I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, I could put up with sausage and mash forever.” ~ Colin Baker
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“Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!” ~ Andy Rooney
- “Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was the sausage-maker who disposed of the body.” ~ Mark Forsyth
- “I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say ‘pass the mustard’.” ~ Sebastian Horsley
- “Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” ~ Ambrose Bierce
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“A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.” ~ A. P. Herbert
- “The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they’ll sleep at night” ~ Otto von Bismarck
- “A party is like a sausage machine, it grinds up all sorts of heads together into the same baloney.” ~ Henrik Ibsen
- “Politics is like sausage being made. It is unsavory, and it always has been that way, but we usually end up where we need to be.” ~ Hillary Clinton
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“Comedy and sausages are the two things that if you know how they’re made they affect the appetite.” ~ Mike Myers
- “There is nothing so awkward as courting a woman whilst she is making sausages.” ~ Laurence Sterne
- “What? Sunday morning in an English family and no sausages? God bless my soul, what’s the world coming to, eh?” ~ Dorothy L. Sayers
- “Linda McCartney sausages were my favorite. Theyre much better than eating real sausages and you dont have to contemplate half way through exactly whats inside them. … You can have them, a bit of fried bread, tinned tomatoes. Delicious.” ~ Simon Cowell
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“I went into a butchers and I said, ‘I’ll have a pound of sausages. ‘He said, ‘I’m very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. ‘I said, ‘Okay then I’ll have a pound of kilos.'” ~ Tommy Cooper
- “I don’t normally cook, but if I did it probably would be beans, sausage, bacon and eggs. I never really get to eat that to be honest.” ~ Wayne Rooney
- “I know I look like a piece of sausage to those lions. A sausage with braids.” ~ Cody Lundin
- “Learn to use an axe, and respect it and you can’t help but love it. But abuse one and it will wear your hands raw and open your foot like an overcooked sausage.” ~ Richard Proenneke
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“A novel is like a sausage. You might like the final taste but you don’t want to see how it was made.” ~ Harlan Coben
- “My favorite fall or winter lunch is big steaming bowls of soup. I usually invite people for around 12:30 and have two hearty soups like shrimp corn chowder and lentil sausage soup, which can be made a day or two ahead.” ~ Ina Garten
- “Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas: you both love judo or camping or making your own sausage. Other friendships are forged in alliance against a common enemy.” ~ David Sedaris
- “[Final diary entry:] Occupation is essential. And now with some pleasure I find that it’s seven; and must cook dinner. Haddock and sausage meat. I think it is true that one gains a certain hold on sausage and haddock by writing them down.” ~ Virginia Woolf
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“To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not watch them in the making.” ~ Otto von Bismarck
- “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. How’s that? Why don’t you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better than to put me down, you piece of garbage. You have got nothing to do today, You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it.” ~ Michael Savage
- “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. How’s that? Why don’t you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better than to put me down, you piece of garbage. You have got nothing to do today, You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it.” ~ Michael Savage
- “Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now…She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body … I know she’s very good, and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … but Hannah Storm … come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.” ~ Tony Kornheiser
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“Herpes, AIDS, the Middle East at full throttle. Better check that sausage before you put it in the waffle.” ~ Lou Reed
- “Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.” ~ Tom Robbins
- “We eat pancakes to escape loneliness, yet within moments we want nothing more than our freedom from ever having so much as thought about pancakes. Nothing can prevent us, after eating pancakes, from feeling the most awful regret. After eating pancakes, our great mission in life becomes the repudiation of the pancakes and everything served along with them, the bacon and the syrup and the sausage and coffee and jellies and jams. But these things are beneath mention, compared with the pancakes themselves. It is the pancake–Pancakes! Pancakes!–that we never learn to respect.” ~ Donald Antrim
- “Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?” ~ Paul Claudel
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“If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.” ~ Otto von Bismarck
- “Any part of the piggy Is quite all right with me Ham from Westphalia, ham from Parma Ham as lean as the Dalai Lama Ham from Virginia, ham from York, Trotters Sausages, hot roast pork. Crackling crisp for my teeth to grind on Bacon with or without the rind on Though humanitarian I’m not a vegetarian. I’m neither crank nor prude nor prig And though it may sound infra dig Any part of the darling pig Is perfectly fine with me.” ~ Noel Coward
- “Like the shock of fondling a raw sausage, blindfold, at a gay party.” ~ Vivian Stanshall
- “You’re going to need a stronger stomach if you’re going to be back in the kitchen seeing how the sausage is made.” ~ Bert Cooper
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“A mighty good sausage stuffer was spoiled when the man became a poet.” ~ Eugene Field
- “I used to help my granddaddy make sausage. He would mix it up in a cleaned-out washtub with his hands, no gloves. Man, if we did anything like that today, they would jack the jail up and throw us under it.” ~ Jimmy Dean
- “For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.” ~ Andy Rooney
- “You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.” ~ Jeff Foxworthy
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“People who love sausage and people who believe in justice should never watch either of them being made” ~ Otto von Bismarck
- “after an epic search, I finally found something neither green nor fuzzy. It was a hot sausage link. I named it Peter, mostly because it seemed like the right thing to do. As soon as my java was piping hot I popped him into the microwave. hopefully the radioactive environment would sterilize Peter. No need to have little Peters running around, wreaking havoc.” ~ Darynda Jones
- “Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!” ~ Andy Rooney
- “On Saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon That night he had a stomach ache.” ~ Eric Carle
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“Think of the man who first tried German sausage.” ~ Jerome K. Jerome
- “I eat only white foods: eggs, sugar, grated bones, the fat of dead animals; veal, salt, coconut, chicken cooked in white water; fruit mold, rice, turnips; camphorated sausage, dough, cheese (white), cotton salad, and certain fish (skinless).” ~ Erik Satie
- “There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes.” ~ Kenneth Grahame
- “Christmas is forced upon a reluctant and disgusted nation by the shopkeepers and the press; on its own merits it would wither and shrivel in the fiery breath of universal hatred.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
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“I’m on a diet. It’s very strict: all hot dogs. Just sausages, constantly. It’s working out – I’ve gained fifteen pounds!” ~ Beth Ditto
- “I found that when I went from Albany to Savannah, that I needed to put that white rice away, and I needed to turn that into Savannah red rice because they were big into that sausage, tomato-y, bell pepper-y rice mixture.” ~ Paula Deen
- “Listen, boy, just ask the chef to make me a proper Full English Breakfast. You know, bacon, fried eggs, sausages, liver, grilled mushrooms and tomatoes, black pudding, kidneys, baked beans, fried bread, toast and served with strong English mustard, mind – none of this effete French muck – and a large mug of hot, strong Indian tea.” ~ Bryan Talbot
- “A book should be made like a watch and sold like a sausage.” ~ Oliverio Girondo
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“Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.” ~ Miller Barber
- “I will endanger your species like an ostrich,
Hold you hostage, and crazy feed you swine sausage!” ~ Busta Rhymes - “No sausage?” he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.” ~ Maureen Johnson
- “Doping in English football is restricted to lager and baked beans with sausages. After which the players take to the field, belching and farting. English football culture is one of pure, intense competition, and that’s why I have always preferred it to Italy.” ~ Paolo Di Canio
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“Never chain your dogs together with sausages. One must accustom one’s self to be bored.” ~ John Berger
- “For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that resemble disfigured celebrities, and most of all, he saves food. Cherry tomatoes, sausage biscuits, the olives plucked from other people’s martinis –he hides these things in strange places until they are rotten. And then he eats them.” ~ David Sedaris
- “I devoured hot-dogs in Baltimore ‘way back in 1886, and they were then very far from newfangled…They contained precisely the same rubber, indigestible pseudo-sausages that millions of Americans now eat, and they leaked the same flabby, puerile mustard. Their single point of difference lay in the fact that their covers were honest German Wecke made of wheat-flour baked to crispiness, and not the soggy rolls prevailing today, of ground acorns, plaster-of-Paris, flecks of bath-sponge, and atmospheric air all compact.” ~ H. L. Mencken
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“If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages.” ~ Arsene Wenger
- “I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.” ~ Jeremy Clarkson
- “Stretch of I-95 has already had one brush with disaster. In 2008 two contractors from the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation stopped to get a sausage sandwich, and parked their cars under this bridge. And fortunately they wanted that sausage sandwich because they saw one of these piers with an eight foot gash in it about five inches wide. And oh, they knew automatically that this bridge was in deep trouble.” ~ Steve Kroft
